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elkid
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Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
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 Posted: 06/13/04 - 19:22 Post subject: Double race report: 2 T's, 1 medal, a perfect weekend
After ending spring racing season with a great half in Queens a month ago, I did the tri. It completely shattered my confidence, and replaced it with fear and doubt. As the well wishes and congratulations began to roll in, it all felt hollow and empty because I was so disappointed with my results. I slid very deep into the depression I'd been suffering for a few months, and became lost. I had no direction or focus, and had lost complete control. My friends offered to help, but I didn't know what to ask them for. My mind was all over the place, I was numb, and I didn't know what to do.
I went to Cleveland, TN for business last week and what I had thought was poor timing ended up being perfect timing. Relieved of many decisions and responsibilities, I was free to confront my demons, get better, and return to me again. I turned to running, as I had so often in the past. I ran a lot. Every run I thought please let me find what I need, and let me see that I can do something right. My coach continually messaged me, giving me consolation, encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, and hope. Thanks to him and running I rebounded, stronger than before. I was eager to start summer racing season, to prove to myself that I could still run, and enjoy it. Especially because summer racing season starts with 4 races in 8 days.
NY Mini 10K, Central Park, 6/12
This world-famous race, the original and largest women-only race, is steeped in tradition and has an interesting history. Its sole purpose is to celebrate women's sports. I was beyond excited to participate in this. My sole purpose was to have fun. After a joyful lunch with coach on Friday, I headed to northern NJ to spend the night. Up at 530, in the car at 6, on the bus at 630, on 2 subways at 7, finally hit the race start just before 8am. I never found Cheeky (who apparently didn't even race  ) and missed pbello because she was just too damn fast. But this race could not have been more perfectly tailored to me if I had tried. We were to start on Central Park West, my favorite street in my favorite neighborhood in my favorite city, and then run through the most beautiful park in the world in my favorite section on a course I was familiar with, but in reverse (no hills! just flat and downhill!).
I hit the race start grinning from ear to ear. That smile rarely left my face during the race. As I look up at Trump International Tower, I think man, this is the coolest - I am so psyched to be here! It was 69 degrees, low humidity: perfect weather. We start off at 9am, and I know I'm going too fast but just don't care. I am feeling great, and want to prolong the feeling as long as possible. I'm striding down this great street with Olympians and Olympic hopefuls, and with women of all shapes, all ages, all backgrounds, and all colors. The crowd support is phenomenal, and the smile won't leave my face.
2.5M down CPW from 61st to about 108th and then we turn right into the park. No major hills, just fun fun fun. At the water stop just after the 5K mark I am hit with a concerning, recent malady that forces me to stop dead in my tracks. I ask for water, rest a bit, and then realize I have to take it easy to finish. I don't care, though: I'm having THAT much fun. Up and down, around and around, a sea of women looping through the park. After the 5M marker the theme from "Schindler's List" comes through the headphones and I start to cry. So many emotions triggered, so many thoughts released by this beautiful song. I finally cross the finish line with a smile so big my cheeks hurt. I collect a white carnation and my finisher's medal (the only medal outside of the marathon that's awarded by NYRRC). I then go to hydrate and process all my thoughts.
Runners rarely ask me why I run. Anyone who puts in the miles loves it to whatever extent. However they do ask me, and often, why I race so much. They think it's a detriment that I race at least twice a month, but I disagree. Racing helps me set deadlines, build and continually reassess training plans, and keeps me from overtraining. Running is as much a part of me as the air in my lungs and the blood that courses through my veins; racing is a natural extension of this.
I am a completely different person because of running. It has given me much more than the obvious physical changes; I am more patient, kind, trusting, compassionate, and understanding. I am more optimistic than cynical, more open than closed, more happy than bitter. I have more friends than ever, who love me just because I'm me. Racing lets me celebrate these changes, and reminds me of how far I have come and yet how far I have to go.
I get twitchy if I don't race for two weeks. I love the experience. It allows me, even if only for a short time, to rise above my highly complicated, compartmentalized life and focus on one, and only one, thing: me on the road. Racing allows me clarity of thought, action, and heart. It lets me achieve what was once impossible. Racing gives me purpose, direction, and focus. My races aren't always pretty, and aren't always good, but each race has a definitive purpose: speedwork, tempo, hills, fun (like today), or to test my endurance or ability at a certain point in a given training cycle. I love how racing makes me feel, when it all comes together like at the Mini. I love the relationships it's helped me forge, and I love that I get to do this.
I race because I can. Not because I'm particularly good at it, or talented in any sense. I race because I can, because it challenges me, makes me strive for improvement, and helps me celebrate how far I've come. Through racing I take part in cool events, in places far and near, and be a part of things bigger than myself. Through racing I feel pure, accomplished, and whole. This is why I run, and that is why I race. And what a perfect race this was.
Postrace I chatted with Heidi Bressler of "The Apprentice", an acquaintance from high school. I then saw a familiar face, and approached and chatted at length with Joan Benoit Samuelson (who won her age group). What kind words she had for me, and inspirational ones as well. What a great lady she is. Had I not been flying so high I would've remembered I had a camera to capture the moment . For those of you who keep up with elites, a few familiar names were there. Then there's my results: 2,656 of 3,833 finishers (beating 31%), 1:07:58, splits: 10:40, 10:19, 10:44, 11:36, 11:15, 11:08, 2:15 (.2).
American Lung Association Asthma Walk, Ridgewood, NJ, 6/13
My baby brother, an asthma sufferer, had asked me to do this with him and his sister-in-law a few weeks back knowing I'd be in town. I jumped at the chance, since my family routinely dismisses my athletic efforts. Once we had been extremely close, but then drifted apart due to life and circumstance. I thought I'd seen some repairing of the damage at dinner on Saturday night, and when he thanked me profusely on Sunday for doing this walk, I knew my assumption was correct.
He and his SIL picked me up at 815 and we got to Upper Saddle River Park shortly before 9am. We hand in our donations, collect our T-shirts, and eat breakfast courtesy of ALA. Ridgewood has money, and it was clearly reflected in this park. I, the nature hater, Ms. Ultra Urban, thought this park was beautiful. So beautiful I had to do a 3.1M recovery run before our walk. Did so on a shaded bike path that ran along the river. Lacking headphones, I ran to the sounds of the babbling river, birds, people, etc. And it wasn't too horrible. This run meant that I had run four days straight in four different states. 
We started walking at 10am, leisurely pace. Much chatting, joking, and laughing during the 3.5M walk. We had a great time on the same bike path I'd run on, and when we finished in 65 minutes or so we were given a red carnation. We hydrated, and set off for home. The best part? My brother apologizing for downplaying all my athletic efforts over the past two years. He suffers from major medical problems and has quite a few physical restrictions, so he said he was somewhat jealous of all I was doing, and a little threatened by the powerful changes in me. How humbling this was. After some pizza and beer and a few more laughs, I set off for home.
What a fantastic weekend. Joy on Friday, joy on Saturday, joy on Sunday. Pure, unadulterated bliss. How deliciously wicked! I am an ordinary woman who just so happens to lead an extraordinarily vivid, exciting, action-packed life. How fortunate I am to be able to do these things in so many places, with great people. How lucky I am to be able to race whenever, wherever I want. How blessed I am. What a perfect weekend.
Next up: speedwork at the Summer Solstice 5K on Wednesday.
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). A true treat indeed to have a weekend like that come along, and the more the better. What a pleasure to read your story!
