|
|
|
|
jrjo
Gone Fishin
|
|
|
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
|
| Back to top
|
|
 Posted: 08/30/06 - 09:02 Post subject: Do you determine your own happiness?
Simple question really.
I think we know peeps that are 'happy' all the time. I like to think I'm one of them too. And we all know peeps too that just can't seem to grab the steering wheel of life at times.
So can a person keep themselves happy? Is personal joy determined by what we, ourselves, do/feel/think? Or is our personal satisfaction derived from how others treat us or affect us?
Can you sail your own boat or are you at the mercy of someone else's wind?
|
|
|
|
|
andydp
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 8122
Location: Upstate NY near Albany
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/30/06 - 09:12 Post subject:
I once had to read an extremely boring philosopher's writings in college. This person was so bad I have since forgotten the name.
His main concept was about freedom. He described it as being an infinetly long hallway with doors along the way. All the doors are unlocked. There is absolutely nothing to stop you from continuing or deciding this is as far as you will go.
I look upon happiness as that hallway. I've pretty much gotten where I want, every so often I open another door. I don't have to open the door but being content with what I have, and having the ability to go forward (bills paid, retired from job, etc etc) I'll take a look.
|
|
|
|
|
robp
Pyromaniac
|
|
|
Joined: 26 Jul 2002
Posts: 16242
Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/30/06 - 10:35 Post subject:
I sail my own boat for the most part. However, not everything is under my control.
|
|
|
|
|
j1miller
Puppy Love!
|
|
|
Joined: 07 Jul 2002
Posts: 15447
Location: Lost on trail.
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/30/06 - 11:58 Post subject:
I'm closer to happiness. Sometimes, things happen that are beond your control and they serverely rock your world. It happens. The key is not to let bad moments or bad times in your life destroy your entire life. I think that a person who knows how to let things go and gets over it has a better chance at true happiness than those that are bitter and hold grudges.
|
|
|
|
|
keltic63
the kilted one
|
|
|
Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/30/06 - 13:06 Post subject:
| j1miller wrote: | | I'm closer to happiness. Sometimes, things happen that are beond your control and they serverely rock your world. It happens. The key is not to let bad moments or bad times in your life destroy your entire life. I think that a person who knows how to let things go and gets over it has a better chance at true happiness than those that are bitter and hold grudges. |
I've posted a few positive things that have happened to me recently, over in the rr forums. However, I think I am going through one of the most devastating things I've ever gone through at the moment. I am not ready to share it, nor would it be wise to do so at this point (from a legal standpoint.) I am happy though. I'm not bitter, I'm not holding a grudge, but I am taking action. This devastating thing is beyond my control, but I am not letting it destroy my life. Because I've learned to take action where it's necessary, and let go of things at the appropriate times, I feel that sense of true happiness we're talking about. There's also the counterpart to happiness: peace. I must say that I am at peace with my life now, and that gives me a great feeling of being grounded.
|
|
|
|
|
karlene
Canadian Bacon
|
|
|
Joined: 17 Oct 2005
Posts: 5563
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/30/06 - 13:10 Post subject:
| j1miller wrote: | | I'm closer to happiness. Sometimes, things happen that are beond your control and they serverely rock your world. It happens. The key is not to let bad moments or bad times in your life destroy your entire life. I think that a person who knows how to let things go and gets over it has a better chance at true happiness than those that are bitter and hold grudges. |
|
|
|
|
|
Sahara
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 3345
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/30/06 - 16:14 Post subject:
So can a person keep themselves happy?
I think that some people have the capacity to keep themselves happy. Think of those with few choices due to horrible circumstance (Anne Frank for example). She either made the choice or had the innate tendency to persevere with, dare I call it, happiness.
I’ll make the distinction between happiness and pleasure. I think of happiness as a lasting disposition, and, of pleasure as temporary. Personal satisfaction… I’m not sure what that is exactly except perhaps H/R-speak for contentment with one’s job and workplace.)
Can you sail your own boat or are you at the mercy of someone else's [wind?
I think that I float my boat. Even if the wind capsizes me, the trip to the bottom of the ocean would be filled with wonder and joy at all that I’ve never considered before. I think of myself as predisposed to having a positive mental attitude (something that I learned as a concept while on a high school team.
Steering wheel of life… although I tend to think that I control just about everything in my life, I’ve learned that I’d be crazy to believe it. I still act as though I at least have some influence over just about everything. <smile>
|
|
|
|
|
runaroundsue
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 18 Sep 2002
Posts: 6629
Location: supporting GREENer pastures
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/30/06 - 20:22 Post subject:
I don't sail my own boat and honestly, quite afraid that I won't for quite awhile. I believe my happiness/unhappiness is too closely influenced by my children, I'm unhappy that I can't "make" my child happy. I'm am relieved that my DH is "finally" taking the wheel once in awhile, though.
|
|
|
|
|
JUJR
Grunt
|
|
|
Joined: 20 Feb 2005
Posts: 1970
Location: www.johnnydu.com
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/30/06 - 22:45 Post subject:
Life is not always what one wants it to be, but to make the best of it as it is, is the only way of being happy.
--Jennie Jerome Churchill
|
|
|
|
|
rolling rock
The Pinball
|
|
|
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/31/06 - 09:50 Post subject: Re: Do you determine your own happiness?
| jrjo wrote: |
So can a person keep themselves happy? Is personal joy determined by what we, ourselves, do/feel/think? Or is our personal satisfaction derived from how others treat us or affect us?
|
happiness is an emotion that comes and goes, it's incidental, like sadness, grief, anger, jealousy, envy, lust, and whatever else there is.
a person can keep themselves in a state of peace, i believe, thru whatever means they find to be applicable in their own life and in their own soul (prayer, meditation, athletics). nothing is more disheartening and defeating in life than to feel your own satisfaction (or happiness if you want) is and can only be derived from how others treat us cuz i believe there is nothing to be positively gained, longterm, from another individual on earth. your own peace comes from within, always has, always will. i think some people are, at times, unconscious of this and let themselves be swept away at the mercy of other peoples' opinions and actions. (and God knows there are a boatload of idiots out there espousing their own view of how your life should be lived).
if you claim to be one of the happy people, then you have a better handle on staying conscious and present and not allowing future worries or past regrets to drag you down. alot of people lose themselves and their full potential in life just by worrying about the future or damning the past when, in reality, it's a huge waste of their soulful self cuz all we got is this very moment. if people believed that and lived by that, i wanna think there'd be alot more happy/satisfied/peaceful people out there. but, from one who knows firsthand, it is not as easy as it sounds.
peace out yo. 
|
|
|
|
|
DCRunningDiva
Look at me!!! ©
|
|
|
Joined: 10 Oct 2003
Posts: 9344
Location: Washington DC Metro
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/31/06 - 10:01 Post subject: Re: Do you determine your own happiness?
| jrjo wrote: |
So can a person keep themselves happy? Is personal joy determined by what we, ourselves, do/feel/think? Or is our personal satisfaction derived from how others treat us or affect us?
Can you sail your own boat or are you at the mercy of someone else's wind? |
I learned this lesson the hard way. I went through a bad time in my life once where I was waiting for a person to ask for my forgiveness of an offense that occured to me. I had decided to not be happy or forgive him until he apologized to me. He never did. I could have held a grudge to this day but I came to the realization that a person doesn't need the forgiveness of others to determine their own state of mind.
I think we can keep ourselves happy but I do believe there are times in life that get us shaken up and we just need some time to regroup and think about what really matters most in this life.
|
|
|
|
|
bburgoyne26
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 16 Sep 2003
Posts: 2959
Location: Ft. Worth, Texas
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/31/06 - 13:30 Post subject:
as long as I can find my frickin' prozac every morning......  ..... 
|
|
|
|
|
keltic63
the kilted one
|
|
|
Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 08/31/06 - 14:25 Post subject: Re: Do you determine your own happiness?
| rolling rock wrote: | alot of people lose themselves and their full potential in life just by worrying about the future or damning the past when, in reality, it's a huge waste of their soulful self cuz all we got is this very moment. if people believed that and lived by that, i wanna think there'd be alot more happy/satisfied/peaceful people out there. but, from one who knows firsthand, it is not as easy as it sounds.
|
There's Only Us
There's Only This
Forget Regret
Or Life Is Yours To Miss
No Other Road
No Other Way
No Day But Today
|
|
|
|
|
airehead
Oompa Loofah
|
|
|
Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 09/05/06 - 08:25 Post subject:
| robp wrote: | | I sail my own boat for the most part. However, not everything is under my control. |
Big FAT
And everything that isn't under my control is completely up to me to decide how I deal with it and react to it.
|
|
|
|
  |
All times are GMT - 4 Hours
|
|
