Check it out, oh wise ones, I need some advice...

Queenie

My kids are tormented daily by my 14-year-old B-I-L. He teases them mercilessly and annoys them for sport. He is obviously under the impression that they are his little sisters.

How far do I go to step in? I feel I am not getting their back if I don't tell him to buzz off. But when I subtley say something, my M-I-L tells me that it's normal and to leave them alone to "sort it out". I don't want the little punk coming around here and using my kids for his amusement. But I don't want to cause a huge stink, either. And Michael says if I interfere too much I'll make the kids feel I will always be there to kick a$$ if they are bothered & they won't learn to stick up for themselves.

So dish; what should I do? What would you do?

Member

Bust the little jerkies balls the way he teases your kids. He probably won't come around much thereafter Evil or Very Mad

Frightened Inmate #2

Queenie

Member

See here for some ideas. Twisted Evil

http://runningforums.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7024

Frightened Inmate #2

Member

Gone Fishin

My wife calls it "Mother Bear". I've done it myself too. In your deepest, growlin' voice, when you see him doing what you dislike, put a firm squeeze on his arm, pierce him with a stare that kills, and say "Don't you ever treat my children that way". Let him report to whoever he wants to and your only response back is "I decide how my children are treated". Don't back down, don't hesitate. I had to confront a questioning relative when their kid was being a bully with my kids. I'll tell ya, standing my ground and being like a momma bear worked.

The Pinball

tell her to return to her chaise lounge until she is called upon. then duct tape her mouth shut.

this is a sticky one cuz she is in your face everyday. i think Michael should speak up and put the brakes on it. is it bothering the girls or do they love it?? if it's bothersome to them and annoying them and making them dread the day itself---Michael needs to tell him to STOP NOW. Have the girls speak up if it is an issue with them -- then DADDY needs to be the poppa bear (is it his little brother?? am i following this???)

no, Mrs. Lounge Chair, it's not really "normal" if the girls are in distress over his overbearing actions.

14 yo boys are silly creatures - i live with one but he rarely if ever steps over the line with his own little sister --- i can shoot the glance that indicates death is near. you don't have that luxury--hopefully the big guy doesn't sense that and take full advantage of your "hands tied" position. they can be very very observant and wise as well......

michael.

Queenie

Thanks. M is away so often that I think he doesn't see the extent to which this little pain-in-the-neck makes a nuisance of himself. He is relentless.

The girls hate it, and they hate it when 3:00 comes around and they know he'll be coming soon (he walks to the office from school, which is just down the road, and then hangs around until 5:00 when Mom leaves).

During this time he has nothing to do (certainly doesn't waste precious time on stuff like HOMEWORK), and turns to annoying my kids. Comes in the office and tells them they should be watching better stuff than "baby movies" by now, says "what's this?!" to just about anything they're involved in and takes it and holds it out of reach, when mom's around he'll sneak behind one of them and pull her hair and then quickly step away, you know, that kind of thing.

I'm gonna have to get rough, I guess, as long as you all don't think it's not the right thing to "rescue" them. M says they will think they will always have that if I do. But I think I should be there to "rescue" when they're this little.

Member

Gone Fishin

Sounds like he needs an afterschool activity. Isn't he involved in anything? How can stagnating around an office for 2 hours a day do any good?... heck, we're all proof what 8 hours can do Wink

Seriously, sports, arts, clubs, hobbies, practice, rehearsal, something..the kid needs a life (said in all sensitivity of being your in-law Very Happy

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Master of Prissface

I'd beat the snot outta the little sh*t but that's just me! Wink

No, seriously...EL made a good point. Your ILs generally treat you like dog crap and that's something Michael has to address. As far as the brat goes, I like jrjo's Mama Bear idea. YOU decide how your kids are treated, not some idiot in law. I know Michael's all manly-man with that "suck it up and tough it out" nonsense, but like OL said, these are little girls and they need protection, AND then a talk about (in polite little girl language, of course) not taking crap from ANYONE for no good reason. This way, you are doing the best of both worlds. You're protecting your kids, while at the same time teaching them early in life that they deserve respect and not to be treated like doormats. A VERY important lesson to learn before they become adults!!!! If you teach them to stand up for themselves now, you won't need to always protect them.

Then, enroll them in karate classes so they can kick his ass themselves! Wink

Oompa Loofah

I have to agree with Gina on this one. Standing up for them when they can't defend themselves shows them a few things: one, they deserve to be "stood up for", two: it shows them the proper way to handle a bad situation, three: it teaches them that there are people they themselves will have to stand up for, and since you've shown them your example, they'll know how.

This child sounds bored--boredom=danger. I at the very least would not leave them alone with this boy. He is obviously undersupervised by his parent--so whatever he wants, goes.

I agree with the mother bear approach. I would watch him like a hawk. Is it possible he's jealous of your mothering? Does he seem jealous that he doesn't get that kind of attention?? Not that it's your responsibility, but it sure will help you know how to treat him.

I was picked on mercilessly and sometimes also cruelly by my older brother. I am very sensitive to little girls that are picked on.

Member

Say "If you want to bully a girl, why don't you try me?"

What I would do, seriously, is when I heard of him doing it I would confront him with what he was doing and demand an explanation as to why he feels the need to bully childern. And make him answer, don't let him off the hook--let him feel the shame. Then ask him to leave and tell him that bullies are simply not allowed in your home.

Send MIL on to SC and say you will be along shortly, and instead move somewhere else Very Happy

Check it out, oh wise ones, I need some advice...

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