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| Just friends? |
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| No |
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| Total Votes : 11 |
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Ms. Jenn
Fresh, Hot & Wild
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Joined: 14 Feb 2004
Posts: 7935
Location: Suite 550
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 Posted: 07/07/05 - 10:59 Post subject: Are you "just friends"?
My stepdaughter travelled to London a few weeks ago for holiday from her research work in Denmark.
A male "friend" flew from the states to London to spend her vacation with her. We told her male friends just don't do that. He wants/is more.
What say you?
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HYPERASHEL
Member
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Joined: 18 Nov 2003
Posts: 15397
Location: The South's Sauna, Atlanta
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:02 Post subject:
from what i understand in Europe it's not that uncommon for that to happen just for fun.
of course my minds says "no" though.
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Noley
AZhat
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Joined: 16 Aug 2003
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:04 Post subject:
Sounds like a friends with benefits kind of thing...if you ask me.
You'll either hate that I say that.... 
Be ok with it... 
Or just remember times like that of the past...  oops...  oops...  oops...
Last edited by Noley on 07/07/05 - 11:07; edited 2 times in total
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:05 Post subject:
Did it all start with a 10:30 PM phone call?
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:09 Post subject:
How old are these people?
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Pug
The Movie Geek
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Joined: 21 Aug 2003
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:26 Post subject:
Odds are, he's hoping for more. He may or may not be looking for a more signficant relationship with her, but he's looking or hoping for something to happen. Friends? Yes. I'd do it for a good friend. More? Also, yes. If it was a female friend I did it for, I probably would have that hope in the back of my mind even if I didn't actively force the issue.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:30 Post subject:
We can rehash the whole when harry met sally/ladder theory again, but, I can in my own life think of friendships that are strong enough (yet only friends, at least from this perspective) that I would use my male friend as an excuse to travel overseas, although I can certainly see the "wanting more" side as well.
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:32 Post subject:
| cherylpf wrote: | We can rehash the whole when harry met sally/ladder theory again, but, I can in my own life think of friendships that are strong enough (yet only friends, at least from this perspective) that I would use my male friend as an excuse to travel overseas, although I can certainly see the "wanting more" side as well.
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I have never heard of this so called ladder theory.
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Pug
The Movie Geek
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Joined: 21 Aug 2003
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:33 Post subject:
| cherylpf wrote: | | We can rehash the whole when harry met sally/ladder theory again, but, I can in my own life think of friendships that are strong enough (yet only friends, at least from this perspective) that I would use my male friend as an excuse to travel overseas, although I can certainly see the "wanting more" side as well. |
That's a different argument. It's different from the male side. Or is that the Harry Met Sally thing? It's been a while since I've seen the movie. And it is all together possible that the "something more" isn't necessarily a conscious thought, but i'm positive that it is there. I can think to when I was in college which female friends I would have done that for, and each one of them I would have considered feeling the potential for something more.
With one exception.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:37 Post subject:
everyone google "ladder theory"
okay, now proceed.
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Pug
The Movie Geek
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Joined: 21 Aug 2003
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 11:38 Post subject:
| nolefan85 wrote: |
I have never heard of this so called ladder theory. |
If it is what I'm thinking of:
A man and woman can never be just friends. The male always wants to sleep with her.
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
Later:
Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.
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Ms. Jenn
Fresh, Hot & Wild
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Joined: 14 Feb 2004
Posts: 7935
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 12:36 Post subject:
She's 24 and the man is a US citizen.
She is convinced they are just friends, nothing more. We were teasing her that men don't fly overseas for just a friend. With the exception of Pug.
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Noley
AZhat
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Joined: 16 Aug 2003
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 12:40 Post subject:
| Pug wrote: |
If it is what I'm thinking of:
A man and woman can never be just friends. The male always wants to sleep with her.
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
Later:
Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends. |
This is freakin hillarious! I need to see this movie!! 
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 12:44 Post subject:
| nolefan85 wrote: |
This is freakin hillarious! I need to see this movie!! |
The actual dialogue between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan is much better when you see it. Of course the diner scene is one of the best parts of the movie
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kristin31
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8045
Location: Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
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Posted: 07/07/05 - 13:00 Post subject:
I don't know, I think it's possible, although probably in the back of mind there is that little piece hoping something should happen. Or he could be gay, in all seriousness.
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