|
|
|
|
sonnylax
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Posts: 2942
Location: Living in a lollipop and unicorn world
|
| Back to top
|
|
 Posted: 07/22/04 - 21:24 Post subject: Another relationship/dating question for the wimmins
I know one (common) complaint that women have of men is unkept promises:
"I will call you later"
"I will call you tomorrow"
"Can we get together next week"
"See you later"
etc...
From what I can tell, most women would prefer that men be brutally honest and not tell a fib. (I'm sure most men would prefer this too.)
My question is this: If you went out on an initial "date" (lunch, cup of coffee, etc.) with another person and it just wasn't working out for whatever reason and you didn't want to see them again... How do you "end" said encounter in a peaceful, non-threatening manner without leading them on further? 
|
|
|
|
|
Noley
AZhat
|
|
|
Joined: 16 Aug 2003
Posts: 10494
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/22/04 - 21:27 Post subject: Re: Another relationship/dating question for the "wimmi
| sonnylax wrote: |
My question is this: If you went out on an initial "date" (lunch, cup of coffee, etc.) with another person and it just wasn't working out for whatever reason and you didn't want to see them again... How do you "end" said encounter in a peaceful, non-threatening manner without leading them on further? |
I would just tell her that you had a nice time and that you just wanted to remain friends, as gently as possible. Honesty is the best policy. You don't want to waste your or her time any further if it's not going to go anywhere.
|
|
|
|
|
MechEngDropout
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 27 Jun 2003
Posts: 10474
Location: Off the grid
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/22/04 - 21:29 Post subject: Re: Another relationship/dating question for the "wimmi
| nolefan85 wrote: | | sonnylax wrote: |
My question is this: If you went out on an initial "date" (lunch, cup of coffee, etc.) with another person and it just wasn't working out for whatever reason and you didn't want to see them again... How do you "end" said encounter in a peaceful, non-threatening manner without leading them on further? |
I would just tell her that you had a nice time and that you just wanted to remain friends, as gently as possible. Honesty is the best policy. You don't want to waste your or her time any further if it's not going to go anywhere. |
Honesty is the best policy, but do not ever say that you want to be friends if you don't intend to see her again. It really pisses me off when girls say they want to be friends, then ignore you, won't return calls, and basically never speak to you again. Common courtesy, I don't do it to them.
|
|
|
|
|
Noley
AZhat
|
|
|
Joined: 16 Aug 2003
Posts: 10494
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/22/04 - 21:32 Post subject: Re: Another relationship/dating question for the "wimmi
| MechEngDropout wrote: | | nolefan85 wrote: | | sonnylax wrote: |
My question is this: If you went out on an initial "date" (lunch, cup of coffee, etc.) with another person and it just wasn't working out for whatever reason and you didn't want to see them again... How do you "end" said encounter in a peaceful, non-threatening manner without leading them on further? |
I would just tell her that you had a nice time and that you just wanted to remain friends, as gently as possible. Honesty is the best policy. You don't want to waste your or her time any further if it's not going to go anywhere. |
Honesty is the best policy, but do not ever say that you want to be friends if you don't intend to see her again. It really pisses me off when girls say they want to be friends, then ignore you, won't return calls, and basically never speak to you again. Common courtesy, I don't do it to them. |
OK. I agree with this here. Don't give out false promises.
|
|
|
|
|
cherylpf
crazy cat lady
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 17305
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/22/04 - 21:39 Post subject:
Honest but don't burn bridges either. Just end it and make no false promises. How about "I had nice time tonight/dinner was great...goodnight" simple courteous and no lies.
|
|
|
|
|
cherylpf
crazy cat lady
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 17305
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/22/04 - 21:50 Post subject:
I also wanted to add re: the "Lets be friends" line, usually those types of moments are mutual and saying something like that would be bringing up an awkward momemt unnecessarily. But even if its not mutual, keeping things friendly is never a bad thing. You could end up friends, figure out a friend this person would be perfect for (this happened to a friend of mine, she set a first date up with the girl he eventually married), etc. And inevitably, even in huge cities, you'll see this person again, no need to make it awkward. A first date is just that, a chance to get to know eachother, not a commitment for any further dates. I think that is generally understood.
|
|
|
|
|
genie
Master of Prissface
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/23/04 - 08:04 Post subject: Re: Another relationship/dating question for the wimmins
| sonnylax wrote: | I know one (common) complaint that women have of men is unkept promises:
"I will call you later"
"I will call you tomorrow"
"Can we get together next week"
"See you later"
etc...
From what I can tell, most women would prefer that men be brutally honest and not tell a fib. (I'm sure most men would prefer this too.)
|
OH, BIG FAT  to that! If a person can't be honest that says a WHOLE LOT about their character, now doesn't it? I think that whole "gee, I just didn't wanna hurt your feelings" thing is just a bullsh*t excuse for having no integrity. I agree totally with what everyone else said. Leading people on, for whatever reason, is just a-hole, pure and simple. Closure is important for both parties and leaving someone thinking there's something there when there isn't just because you don't want to hurt their feelings is really bad business practice, IMHO. I'd rather just be able to close the door and walk away than think "gee, I wonder what I did wrong here....I thought he really liked me" Now if you HONESTLY don't know what you want....then that's another story. Then I'd say spend some more time with whoever she is and you'll eventually figure it out.
Is this that girl you told us about a couple weeks ago?
Last edited by genie on 07/23/04 - 12:16; edited 2 times in total
|
|
|
|
|
sonnylax
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Posts: 2942
Location: Living in a lollipop and unicorn world
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/23/04 - 08:22 Post subject: Re: Another relationship/dating question for the wimmins
| genie wrote: | | Is this that girl you told us about a couple weeks ago? |
negative. Just doing a little prep. for the future! 
|
|
|
|
|
Noley
AZhat
|
|
|
Joined: 16 Aug 2003
Posts: 10494
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/23/04 - 10:48 Post subject: Re: Another relationship/dating question for the wimmins
| sonnylax wrote: | | genie wrote: | | Is this that girl you told us about a couple weeks ago? |
negative. Just doing a little prep. for the future! |
So there is no girl right now that you're going though this with?
|
|
|
|
