A little humor for those of us in college.....

Master of Prissface

I love this.....and it is SO incredibly true that it's sad..... Mr. Green

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How to Write a College Paper

--Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
--Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
--Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
--Stop off at the third floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced,and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders,drop him.
--When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
--Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
--You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it our of the way so you can concentrate.
--Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
--Listen to one side of your favorite CD and that's it, I mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.
--Listen to the other side.
--Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.
--Phone your friend on the third floor and ask if he's started writing yet. --Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, the world at large.
--Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
--Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savor its special flavor.
--Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions: a) Pro Bowler's Tour b) any movie starring Don Ameche.
--Catch the last hour of Soul Brother of Kung Fu on channel 26.
--Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.
--Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.
--Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
--Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
--Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.
--Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
--Read over the assignment one more time, just for the hell of it.
--Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
--Lie face down on the floor and moan.

witness?

The Movie Geek

I'm out of college, but that was true for me.

Member

so true

Hipster Doofus

Obviously some things have changed. Back when I was in college (beside walking ten miles to class and back. Uphill both ways), you would also have "Focus on classic English dialogue by watching three straight hours of Monty Python's Flying Circus every Sunday night."

Master of Prissface

your favorite weapon

y'know i thought i was ahead in class... and then i guess i wasn't anymore..

it's going to be a rough weekend getting caught up and ahead again.

Member

That's hilarious! The first 2 weeks have been pretty relaxed for me- so far I'm in speed with my classes. But sooner or later, things are definitely going to pile up fast.... Neutral

Kermitologist

so i have already reached the point of being behind. im skipping my volunteer thing tonite in an attempt to play catch up...but ive been behind way worse so im not stressing too much yet.

the paper thing is so true... for my advisiors class, we get to write short(2-3 pgs) papers for bonus points. they are usually simple topics and as long as you put something related to the topic, you get credit. yet i still find myself unable to write anything and wind up doing pretty close to what was said above...

Member

Umm. You forgot a few steps

Every other step should be:

"Check for Riff-Raff updates" Smile

crazy cat lady

AZhat

For me it would have been:

-hang out in the hallway to b.s.
-watch the David Letterman show when it was on very late
-play dorm golf
-do Tide slides
-penny in your neighbors
-try to stay away from the kegs in the elevator going up
-and get delayed by another fire alarm going off

Member

Member

You guys actually wrote papers in college???? Makes me thankful for that Kentucky education. Very Happy

Of course, now that I'm begining this Evil or Very Mad

thesis, this will be more true than ever. I'll gain 50 lbs. trying to avoid working on it.

AZhat

Definition: TIDE SLIDE v.; college student scoops out Tide Detergent and pours it onto tile floor; pour trashcan of water onto the detergent; see stupid student take a running dive into the soap and water; then slide; WEEEEEEEE!

Definition: PENNY IN ROOM v.; college student takes handful of pennies; slips pennies into the cracks another person's door; then leaves while the other person cannot get out of their room without assistance.

Been there and done that!! Woo hoo!
Mr. Green

Member

A little humor for those of us in college.....

LIFEFORM SOCIAL COMMUNITY NETWORK